A Year of Chicken and Dune Knows What’s Up

When I was a wee lad of 11, I remember a wise Doctor, a friend of the family, who recommended Dune by Frank Herbert. I borrowed a copy from the library and devoured it. Sandworms and spice. Muad’Dib and Bene Gesserit. House of Harken vs the jihad across the stars. All interesting, with the added fascination of the stillsuits. Water is life, and in the desert not a drop can be wasted. You dry up and you die.

This story has decades of staying power. When Jenny and I were early married, we did a fair bit of backpacking. One trip was around a lake north of Austin, a lengthy drive from our home. “Who cares, we’ll hit the trailhead after sundown.” We hiked the trail well past midnight before setting up camp. Along the way was a good time to play an audiobook of Dune to catch Jenny up. It was part of my educational efforts to nudge Jenny into drinking more water. Dehydration is for the birds. 

Another decade after that, I am reminded of the lessons of Dune in a very different context.

Spring has come, time for another batch of meat birds. We started with 45 and ended with 33. Thanks to some just die young, 5 owl victims, and some just die older. Not a rate of attrition we like, but likely the rate we deserve (somehow. Jenny blames firework debris.).

We dialed back the protein portion of the food from 22% to 20%. We thought it led to too many rapid growth deaths in the fall. Remember kids, gluttony kills.

Previously we used a drip system to water the birds. They tap the nipple and get water. It’s efficient and clean and all the birds understand it. This year Jenny added some bell water systems, where the water needs to be flushed clean and refilled more regularly, but is more openly available. The birds preferred it to the point we abandoned the drip nipple system.

We made some additions to the processing and optimized the workflow:

Our net results were positive in every dimension. Biggest average weight. Biggest single bird. Heaviest low weight bird. Better skills to part out 12 birds into breast, quarters, and wings. Cost per pound down from 2.30.

8.4lb average bird, up from 7lb.

Biggest bird was 10lb 6oz. (!)

To give a feel for the size, it’s 2.5lb average breast pair package without the tenders

Best we can figure, the overall cost per pound is 1.70. That final extra pound and a half of bird costs 1.88-2.30 in feed. In a profit maximum frame the sweet spot is to process the bird at 4.5 lb. This maximizes the weight on the bird with the most efficient window of feed inputs.

We’ve come to a different conclusion. The most expensive part of raising a year worth of birds is the labor time on processing day.

It starts the day before: Prepping the work stations and clearing the carport. It continues that night with buying ice from the ice machine until it runs out of ice, while the sun is down and the Seattle Mariners spend the fifth inning obliterating Ranger pitching. It starts again by seven the next morning with digging disposal holes, sharpening knives and sanitizing coolers and work surfaces.

Then its family watching the littles while you work without stopping until the last bird is in the cooler at noon. Then cleaning and prepping for bagging until 130. Eat some tacos. Watch a vid on parting out a bird. Weigh and part and bag and freeze the birds. Then its final cleanup and it’s 6, and it’s time to go out to dinner to celebrate.

With that kind of effort, I’d rather get 33 luxury weight birds.  It’s the same amount of time as 33 profit maximum birds. 2 extra weeks of feeding (6 vs 8) means 132lbs more meat for the same pair of long days.

What drove the higher weights?

We’re attributing it primarily to better water access. More water in they get the munchies and eat more feed. Turns out dehydration isn’t really for the birds either.

The Fremen were right, water is the key. As I write this, a storm is coming in. The water will fall and wash the chicken manure deep into the soil. The grass will flourish and the stickers will be abated. This restoration agriculture project will continue to nourish the family with the finest pasture run, non-gmo, completely clean chicken that man can make. Even better: the host of lessons and discipleship opportunities with each child along the way to filling the freezer.